A Song That Makes You Sad

For someone who credits music with saving her life – literally – this is another list that could go on for miles.  There’s one song in particular, however, that always evokes sad memories and downswings in mood, despite my love for it.

Friendship can be a fickle beast at times, closer friendships even more so.  This isn’t to say that friends cannot be wonderful and true.  What I mean is this:  when one friend tumbles down into an abyss, or pulls away, the other is left all the more scarred when the bond is woven in the soul.

I’ve known a handful of people that I believed were kindred spirits, twins in heart and thought.  Loving and caring, we nurtured each other, laughed and cried.  Without warning, or perhaps ignored warnings, these people have plummeted from my life.  They have chosen paths where I cannot follow.  There are times it is crystalline:  I see them hurt and reach out my hand.  I am rejected, pushed away.  There’s nothing I can do.

Some of these friends remain, and I am devoted to them.  A complex web is woven between us women, our relationships overlapped and echoed.  When they fall, my heart strains to hold onto them, to protect them.  I wait for them.  When I fall, it is to them I crawl when I need to resurface.

Despite the closeness inherent in this song, there is also the fracture and fear, and it is for the lost kindred I feel sadness for, whenever I hear this song.

Bells For Her – Tori Amos