A Song That Reminds You Of A Specific Event

July 2008:  my world was rocked with the news that my beloved grandfather – more of a second dad, really – was dying of stage IV lung cancer, as well as bone cancer.   I’d felt something bad coming in my life, had sensed it inexplicably from the previous Fall.  I learned that everyone in my family had, as usual, concealed potential concerns and troubles.  My grandfather had taken a nasty spill in Fall of 2007, and never recovered fully.  After many tests, they’d discovered the cancer.

July 2007:  Matthew Good released his album Hospital Music, which I immediately fell in love with.  Written after his near-fatal overdose (unintentional, yet related to his undiagnosed bipolar disorder), it resonated deeply with me in 2007 and beyond.  One of the tracks connected with my heart in spite of any specific reasons why.  It was dedicated to a friend who lost his father to cancer.

One year later, I began to live the song, line by line.

December 1st, 2008:  I got the phone call I had been expecting since the night before, again for reasons unexplained.  I felt the loss on the horizon.  I wept often, grieved deeply.  The song remained a constant.

I love it dearly, but to this day, I cannot hear it without a profound sense of grief sweeping over me.  I often cry. It is my first recommendation when someone is in mourning, or has received news of terminal illness in their circle of loves ones. No other song captures the experience of the helpless loved one so poignantly for me.

Funny, how I sought strength from the ocean, in light of this song’s title… Special note:  this version is from a concert I attended just weeks before the news, and it strangely devastated me then.

99% Of Us Is Failure – Matthew Good