All of my friends are aware that I’m not a fan of Christmas, and don’t celebrate it anymore. This time of year just drags me down, and involves weeks of dodging stores and bad songs looped endlessly on the radio. I mean, come on: can’t a music junkie get some decent tuneage for this freaking month?
So, as a music enthusiast, allow me to present to you the music I actually enjoy at this time of year. Some of it is festive; some of it rags on the day a bit. But all of it is fun and festive, and meant to be taken with a smile. For those of you celebrating, Happy Holidays; for the rest of us, Happy December 25th!
What’s This? – The Nightmare Before Christmas
My favourite Christmas movie, alongside Scrooged and the classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer… Halloween is my favourite holiday and thus, makes everything all better.
Put A Little Love In Your Heart – Annie Lennox and Al Green
The main song from the film Scrooged, it’s a bit cheesy and sentimental, but the movie it’s from makes me laugh my ass off, so how can I forsake it? Plus hello, Annie Lennox?
Purple People (Christmas In Space) – Tori Amos
This song really isn’t a Christmas song at all, despite its official moniker, but it’s one of Tori’s best b-sides, and I always feel like playing it in winter.
Personal Jesus (Depeche Mode cover) – Richard Cheese
This man is genius: he covers popular songs, mainly rap and metal, as lounge tunes. Richard’s got an entire ‘Christmas’ album (Silent Nightclub) and this is one of the highlights. Watch for his Jesus impersonation at 0:50.
Christmas In Hollis – Run DMC
One of the best Christmas tunes ever… Seriously. It’s mandatory listening for me and has been since it came out. “I’d never steal from Santa; that ain’t right!”
Christmas Time In Hell – South Park
South Park has so many fantastic Christmas moments (Woodland Critter Christmas, anyone?) but this song’s just a riot for how completely inappropriate it is. You almost want to add a ‘too soon?’ after every verse? Trey and Matt in top form.
Rudolph (You Don’t Have To Put On The Red Light)
An absolutely genius mash-up of Roxanne by The Police and an a capella version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer… Thanks to @laurenonizzle for posting it! The fact that the creator paid attention to the key of each song to perfectly blend them only makes this more brilliant and polished.
A metal angst anthem, bemoaning Santa’s failure to deliver… Ridiculous as all hell, but still fun to blast.
I Need A Jew – Family Guy
Horrendously offensive, in true Family Guy fashion, the source episode When You Wish Upon A Weinstein was initially banned from air, and a particularly awful lryic is altered on TV (even Adult Swim, home of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, FFS). So damn wrong, so so wrong… but the audacity of it is what amuses me.
The Night Santa Went Crazy – Weird Al Yankovic
Bwahahahaha! Come on, it could happen. It really could. “Like a big fat disgruntled Yueltide Rambo…”
12 Pains of Christmas – Bob Rivers
Kingdom Hearts style! Woot! A much more realistic take on the 12 days leading up to Christmas…
Oscar Hates Christmas (Sesame Street)
My fave character on the street…. and he agrees with me!
Michael C. Hall’s Christmas Song
Props to Jenna for pointing this out!
Bonus: Robot Chicken’s ‘Who Killed Santa?’
A little bonus clip: Deck The Halls, Fresh Prince stylez
A final bonus: Boondocks Christmas… Two Clips
1. The real history of Christmas, among other lolz
2. “Santa, yo gonna pay what you OWE!”