Dear Family and Friends:

I am female.  I am aware of this.  I scored 110% in health class in sexual education.  I’ve seen myself naked.  I get it.

I know most girls enjoy cosmetics, body lotions and washes, bubble bath and the like.  I do too, to a point.  But I’m not a typical girl.  I don’t give a shit about clothes, shoes, make-up or nail polish.  I like to keep it simple.  I also have an unfortunate allergy to many perfumes, including those in bath products.  As a result, I have to use them very sparingly, and have to be extremely picky.

I cleaned out my bathroom tonight, sorting through items and throwing out what I didn’t need.  In the course of sorting, I discovered that I possess the following:

4 bath sponges

15 sample size bottles of miscellaneous hair products and an equal number of skincare products

4 different vials of the same Oil of Olay regenerating serum

9 large bottles of lotion/facial scrubs

Approximately 12 different types of shower gel and 6 different pots of body butter

3 bath bombs and 4 bubble bath bars from Lush

2 different ‘thermal peels’

I have had some of these for two years, sealed under my counter.  I do NOT need any more bath products, perfumes, or anti-aging creams! I have enough to fuel a small army of Prosti-tots.  Please stop.  Just buy me a goddamn gift card for the book store or the music store, alright?  Don’t even bother with them as stocking stuffers at Christmas.  Stuff mine with candy, or scented candles.

Just. Stop.  It’s tedious and cliche and I am running out of space.

Not Just A Girl,

A.

Day 193:  Just A Girl – No Doubt