Have you ever believed you were with the right person, only to discover that what you had actually done was settle for what you believed was the most you deserved?
The empty bed kills me, its cool sheet silence tangling about my limbs, dragging me from any hope of slumber. I sit awake and think of the one who should be there, the breathing that should be the soothing white noise as my eyelids flutter closed. I rest, but not restfully.
I spent the entire day wishing for a reprieve in this work-related madness that strains our hands out of reach of each other. My phone rang this evening and I am certain my joy at the news on the other end radiated throughout the city.
I’ve been separated from those I have loved before; in my last relationship, it was a matter of course that for one week straight of three, our conflicting schedules kept us apart. A phone call or two, perhaps a Facebook message, was all I would receive. My greeting upon reunion was a warm, but brief hug, and sinking into a lull of laziness.
This man… We call each day, and text frequently. Our reunion tonight was a frenzied kiss and endless murmurings of missing the other. Even as he collapsed a few hours later, exhausted from the extended work hours he’s been keeping, I could feel the love, the mutual need. I once thought such a feeling too clingy, abnormal; this was how others made it out to be. I know now that I was simply with the wrong person.
He sleeps, and though I still remain gripped by insomnia, I am comfortable. There is a peace in the walls. He is near, and it is all I need. It’s a good feeling.
Day 105: Here With Me – Dido