A year concluded today, the first of many years that I am certain will always sting, no matter how much healing of wounds time is purportedly capable of.

I found my mind wandering from time to time, reflecting on how I spent the day before my world was rocked to its foundation.  I wondered at all the unknowns, all of the “how was he feeling?” confusion.  I remember the text message as I stood at today’s artist’s concert, certain it was the bad news, only to find it was my sick father just checking in.  I was emotionally connected in such a powerful way that night, as I often am with live music.  I tried so hard to relish life in his honour.  I tried to be full of his vitality.

Contrary to Amanda’s words, I suffer late nights most of all.  But no matter how much it hurts, we have to live.  We have to try. I just wish I could get in a car instead, and drive…

Day Eighty-Two:  Have To Drive – Amanda Palmer