High Fidelity 19: Stand Under My Umbrella

For only the second time in the history of this project, I’ve created a mix as a dedication to a friendship.  And what better friendship to commemorate than one that has been the backbone of my sanity since 2000?

Two indentical yet different girls, both with their battle scars, cross paths on an internet forum in a time of darkness and become fast friends.  That friendship continues to go, nurtured by their similar struggles and the solidarity those struggles soon breed.  They understand each other, with few words needed.  Each is a different creature in her way – one a fiesty, moody, melodramatic psychology major;  the other, a softer-spoken yet fiery girl, who loves pink things and cigarettes.  Underneath, their souls speak the same language:  music, poetry, melancholy mood swings.  Fiercely loyal to each other, they find themselves in identical patterns of life.  They crash together.  They hold on, together.  They laugh and snark together.  They never fight.

How lost I would be without my wifey, who’s spent countless hours on the phone, email MSN and in person brightening my darkest days and making me laugh.  In another life, I bet we were twins.  Identical, potty-mouthed twins.  She always understands me, perhaps better than myself at times.  She never judges me.  She never makes me feel guilty for failing her.  She’s always waiting, right when I fall down and need a hand.  And I, in turn, come running at any hint of distress.  On my worst days, I live explicitly for her, for her not to be sad.  It’s only fair, after asking her the same.

Our music appreciation spans simiarly wide ranges and artists, which makes it difficult to surprise such a friend with a new treat.  But we’ll see how well I’ve managed it.  Arranged in a chronology of sorts, here is a mix that tells our story,  from first meeting to current bond.

So much love, as always.

Stand Under My Umbrella:  A Friendship of Shelter and Solace

1.  Round Here (live) – Counting Crows


She looks up at the building, says she’s thinkng of jumping
She says she’s tired of life; she must be tired of something…

2.  Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.


When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, hang on
Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries
Everybody hurts, sometimes…

3.  Mary (live Wallingford 2001) – Tori Amos


They see you cry, they lick their lips
Butterflies don’t belong in nets
Oh Mary, can you hear me?
Mary, you’re bleeding…

4.  Good Enough – Sarah McLachlan


I never would have opened up, but you seem so real to me
And after all the bullshit I’ve heard, it’s refreshing not to see
I don’t have to pretend; she doesn’t expect it from me…

5.  Worthy – Ani Dfranco


Give me a vertical
Your horizontal line
I want to take each of them
Bend them to divine
The world is too good for me
I am such a naughty girl
But when we’re together
We’re too good for this world…

6.  Things To Die For – Fallacy Flow


You’re drowning in your sleep
You struggle to the surface
You’re in way too deep…
Life support is breaking; now I’m sinking like a stone
As the background changes colours
She’s afraid to be alone…

7.  It Can’t Rain All The Time – Jane Siberry


When I’m lonely, I lie awake at night
And I wish you were here
I miss you…
It won’t rain all the time; the sky won’t fall forever
And though the night seems long, your tears won’t fall forever…

8.  Halo – Oleander


The space you need to breathe before the curtain call
The light that leads the way before you hit the wall
The mountain that you climb just to take a fall
For blind among the blind…
Stay around and we will shine…

9.  Ophelia – Natalie Merchant


Ophelia was a tempest, cyclone
A goddamn hurricane
She’d sympathize, dry your eyes
And help you to forget…

10.  The Fragile – Nine Inch Nails


Fragile, she doesn’t see her beauty
She tries to get away
Sometimes, it’s just that nothing seems worth saving
I can’t watch her slip away
I won’t let you fall apart…

11. Mary Jane – Alanis Morissette


I hear you’re counting sheep again, Mary Jane
What’s the point in trying to dream anymore?
I hear you’re losing weight again, Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you’re losing it for?

12.  The Remedy – Abandoned Pools


This scar, always there to medicate your fear
Then you can be the remedy and I can be the enemy
And he can go and live as nothing…

13.  God of Wine – Third Eye Blind


I know I can’t keep it all together
(Star, stuck underneath the moon)
And there’s a memory of a window
Looking through, I see you
Searching for something I could never give you…

14.  The Fine Art of Falling Apart – Matthew Good Band


I stand alone, and I fight alone
And I stay clean by feeling cheap
And baby there ain’t enough room in this world
For perfections like you and monsters like me…

15.  This Picture – Placebo


I wrote a poem that described our world
And out our friendship to the test
And late at night whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor…

16.  Counting The Stars – Andrea Florian


Counting the scars on my legs and
My heart no longer bleeds
But sometimes I wish that I could fly away
Well these things do stick to me like glue
When the words won’t come, I’m no longer confused…

17.  Look After You – The Fray


There now, steady love
So few come and don’t go
Will you, won’t you be the only one I always know?
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows
You slow it down…

18.  Swim – Jack’s Mannequin


The currents will pull us away from our love
Just keep your head above
I found the tidal wave, begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets, they fire in me like a gun…
I’m not giving in…

19.  ‘It’s a Good Life If You Don’t Weaken’ – The Tragically Hip


In a face so full of meaning as to almost make it glow
Oh for a good life, we just might have to weaken
And find somewhere to go
Go somewhere we’re needed…

20.  Have To Drive – Amanda Palmer


We suffer mornings most of all
Wake up all bleary eyed and spar
Forgetting everything we saw
I’ll meet you in an hour, at the car

21.  Umbrella – Mandy Moore


When the war has took its part
When the world has dealt its cards
If the hand is hard, together we’ll mend your heart
Oh because
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I’d be here forever
Said I’d always be a friend
Took an oath – I’m a-stick it out til the end…

As per legal restrictions on file sharing, these MP3s are provided for educational purposes and should be deleted after 24 hours.  I am not responsible for your actions contrary to law. 😉

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