“Sweet little scar…”

“It seems so far to go
It took so long to get here
Now I’m saying things I swore I’d never say
and I’m afraid again
I thought I had it in me
I used to be so sure
There I was stronger than ever
And here I am blaming the hurt

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I’m the only one who can help me find my feet again

Sweet little fighter
Sweet little scar
Sweet little fire
in my heart…”
If I Fall – Tara Maclean

This song is the leading track on an album that has been a ‘desert island’ album for me for years, and though I often wander away from Tara Maclean at times, in the times where I’m just flat on the ground, needing to pick myself back up, I usually wind my way through her first two release, Silence (a brutal album of depressing songs, raging songs, and bittersweet love) and then move on to Passenger, lead off by IF I Fall, a song that always makes me want to arrange a road trip with friends and escape whatever has me buckled over weeping.  The song feels like an answer to all of the soul searching and worry of her first disc, and is, as Tara once said, one of her few truly “happy songs”.

Because really, when it comes down to it in the end, we all have to save ourselves.  We all have to remember that we have picked ourselves up before, and continue to do so, the memories of our pains burned into our hearts like scars that will not heal, and yet buoyed by the knowledge that the wounds are survivable.

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