You crawled from the cancer to land on your feet
Are you crazy to want this, even for a while?…
We’re done lying for a living
The strange days are coming and you’re
You’re gone, you’re gone
Either dead or drying
Either dead or trying to go…”
Strange Days – Matthew Good Band
It’s the sort of song I turn to when I need to ease out of numbed autopilot existence, when I begin to emotionally shut down. And lately, even music can barely touch my heart. I know that this is the mind’s way of coping with overwhelming duress, but for someone so governed by passion and emotion, it’s a terrifying existence. I appreciate that it keeps me from buckling to my knees at work and screaming of the injustices I feel are being inflicted upon those I love, but when away from work, I don’t sleep, I don’t cry…. I don’t feel alive.
One of us is dying. That is one too many. I need not join.