High Fidelity, Mix 10

It’s been too long.  I need to commit myself to this on a weekly basis again.

It always seems that relationships, both positive and negative, often inspire these mixes.  My entire life has been spent with music as my inspiration, my soul, my healing salve;  it’s no wonder that I go straight to iTunes with my broken heart.  In this case, I’ve encountered someone who handles conflict through avoidance, who gives up without trying to fix even small problems, who solves crisis with cowering in silence.

I don’t work that way.  It’s such a passive-aggressive approach to life.  It doesn’t work.

In any case, a collection of songs devoted to that sort of person and the experience of knowing and caring for such a creature…  There’s definitely a strong female lean in this playlist, but it’s angrier females mostly.  Okay, there’s the obligatory Sarah McLachlan, but she’s balanced with Emilie Autumn!

Enjoy, my pretties, and comment away.

1.  Want – Recoil ft Nicole Blackman

“I want to know how it will end
I want to be sure of what it will cost
I want to strangle the stars for all that you promised me…
I want to keep you alive, so that there is always the possibility of murder later…”

2.  Apathy – The Tea Party

“You want to look at the edge of madness
Just to see, to see
You want to find what you’re missing out on
Come on over here child, talk it all to me…
Now you’re bent on the edge of blackness
What you trying to see?
You wanna walk with a soul of darkness
Stepping on those coals, get those blisters on your feet…”

3.  My Favourite Game – The Cardigans

“I only know what I’ve been working for
Another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
But my experiment is not getting us anywhere
I had a vision I could turn you right
A stupid mission and a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
My heart is black and my body is blue…”

4.  Fuck Was I – Jenny Owen Youngs

“Love grows in me like a tumour
Parasite bent on devouring its host
I’m developing my sense of humour
Til I can laugh at my heart between your teeth
Til I can laugh at my face beneath your feet
Skillet on the stove, it’s such a temptation
Maybe I’ll be the lucky one who doesn’t get burned –
What the fuck was I thinking?”

5.  I Want My Innocence Back – Emilie Autumn

“I want my innocence back
And if you can’t give it to me
I will cut you down and I will run you through
With the damage sharpened on my body and soul…
You think I’m bluffing?  Just try me
I will never forget the words you used to ensnare me
Til my dying day, you’ll suffer for this I swear…”

6.  Get Gone – Fiona Apple

“I’ve done what I could for you
But you’re not benefitting
And yet I’m sitting, singing again
How can I deal with this
If he won’t get with this
How’m I gonna heal from this
If he won’t admit to it…
It’s time the truth comes out –
That he don’t give a shit about me…”

7.  The Life and Death of Mr. Badmouth – PJ Harvey

“Baby you got a bad, bad mouth
Oozing poison, coming out, coming out
Cheating, lying since the day you were born
Someone ought to rinse it out with soap…
Bad mouth, sad mouth
You were an unhappy child
That doesn’t make your lying tongue alright…”

8.  Emergency – Paramore

“I’ve seen love die way too many times
When it deserved to be alive
I’ve seen you cry way too many times
When you deserved to be alive…
You guve up every chance you get
Just to feel new again
(I think we have an emergency)
And you do your best to show me love
But you don’t know what love is”

9.  Passive – A Perfect Circle

“Wake up and face me
Don’t play dead, ’cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say
You fucking disappoint me
Maybe you’re better off this –
Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why won’t you turn and face me?
Why can’t you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me
Passive-aggressive bullshit”

10.  Like A Friend – Pulp

“Don’t bother saying you’re sorry
Why don’t you come in?
Smoke all my cigarettes again
Every time, I get no further
How long has it been?
Come on in now, wipe your feet on my dreams
You take all my time
Like some cheap magazine
When I could have been learning something
Well you know what I mean
I’ve done this before
And I will do it again
Come on and kill me baby
While you smile like a friend
I’ll come running
Just to do it again”

11.  Asshole – Rilo Kiley

” And I hope things work out well for you
And I’m not coming back
You knew
All along you stole my best line
And you’re right
You know I’d go to fucking Hell for you

There I go, believing you again
There I go, believing you again”

12.  Perfect Girl – Sarah Mclachlan

“The riot in my heart decides
To keep me open and alive
I have to take myself away from you
Because I can’t compete, I can’t deny
There’s nothing that I didn’t try
How did I go so wrong in loving you?”

13.  Walk Away – Kelly Clarkson

“I’ve waited here for you like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never show?
I gave you everything and never asked for anything
And look at me, I’m all alone
So before you start defending baby
Stop all your pretending…
I want a man by my side,
Not a boy who runs and hides”

14.  Are You Happy Now? – Michelle Branch

“No, no it’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and
I don’t care
Would you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now?
Would you tell it to my face
Or have I been replaced?
Are you happy now?
You took all there was to take
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it
I’m giving up this game
And leaving you with all the blame..”

15.  Star – Pepper McGowan

“And I’m sewing these fabrics together
Hoping to make us warm
Folding my wings, stowing my love away
Holiday, one point for avarice
Viscocity
What you are heading for is obviously lost in me
Holiday, mute phone to a royal blue guitar
Black-eyed girl who calls you star…
I gave my heart
I gave my purest blood
I gave my stars
And you just turned around”

16.  Too Much To Ask – Avril Lavigne

“I thought you were cool til the point
Up until the point you didn’t call me when you said you would
Finally figured out you’re all the same
Always coming up with some kind of story…

Can’t you see that you lie to yourself?
You can’t see the world through a mirror,
It won’t be too late when the smoke clears
’Cause I, I am still here

Every time I try to make you smile,
You’re always feeling sorry for yourself
Every time I try to make you laugh,
You can’t your too tough
You think you’re loveless
It was too much that I asked him for”

17.  Heartbreak To Hate – Angelfish

” How long before I make sense of this?
How long before I forget your kiss?
How long did we take from heartbreak to hate?
From heartbreak to hate
Operator, the lines are dead
Ringmaster, the lions are fed
Your Honor, you know I was framed
Surounded in this stupid game
But you wanted love…”

18.  That Day – Poe

“I dreamt tomorrow had a prettier face
I dreamt tomorrow would have better things to say
Than, “You look like shit, what’s your problem, bitch?
You’re legs feel like sandpaper, you can’t do anything right.”
‘Cause that day never should have taken place
‘Cause this day in my life still cannot explain
Why I listened in the first place to you

Oh yeah, something else…

I hope one day you call up your father
And you have the guts to tell him how he hurt you
And he made you hurt another
‘Cause it makes me sad. “

19.  Call Me When You’re Sober – Evanescence

“You’ll never call me when you’re sober
You only want it ’cause it’s over
It’s over
How could I have burned paradise?
How could I?
You were never mine!
So don’t cry to me
If you loved me, you would be here with me
Don’t lie to me
Just get your things
I’ve made up your mind”

20.  Strange – Tori Amos

“Just stay
You said, We’ll build a nest
So I left my life
Tried on your friend, tried on your opinions
So when the bridge is frozen
You did not come home
I put our snowflake under a microscope…
Strange, what I will leave behind
You call me one more time
But now, I must be leaving”

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