So, this mix has a more involved backstory than the previous ones.

I was at work, thinking (since there isn’t much else to do) about what I could possibly centre the mix around this week.  Fumbling with the silver chain around my neck, thinking of you-know-who, my mind drifted suddenly to a song/spoken word piece by an artist I am not a fan of, but my ex had made me listen to a few times.

The track in question is Lust by Hawksley Workman.

In it, Hawksley (whose real, geekier name that my ex told me, being as they went to the same high school, is lost on me) pontificates on lust, on how it is considered a sin, but it’s really not that bad of a thing.  Lust connects us to our primal instincts.  Lust channels that raw energy.  Lust is something that we ought to trust, in Hawksley’s thinking.

This leads me to my own thinking:  that lust is a trickster, forever toying with our minds, clouding our judgement until it gets its way.  It is the petulant toddler Freud would paint our Id to be, stomping its feet upon the Superego and the Ego, until we bend and yield.  Lust cannot be trusted.  Love at first sight?  That’s lust, and our mind attempting to justify and explain why we feel the urge to possess someone, to claim them as ours, after the briefest of encounters.  We insist there is a connection, something higher than ourselves.  There is a connection, all right:  a connection of hormones and desire.  Our inner animal wants;  our higher thinking attempts to justify it so that we might pursue without guilt.

Lust is certainly toying with my strings over the last few weeks.  It wants.  It craves.  And my mind attempts to explain the urges that come, unbidden and sometimes unwanted.  Only lust can explain how one might ignore their job to rewind a particular kiss, a specific way a hand ran across bare flesh, those around her oblivious to what goes on behind the mask.

Lust becomes love, in the right time and place.  But lust may also exist for its own sake, and be gratification into and of itself.  But trusting lust?  A risky venture.

All the same, I find myself trusting it more these days than ever before.  I think it’s onto something this time.  Or maybe that is my mind, justifying my lust?

All rambling aside, a selection of songs that capture varying levels of lust, in varying situations and places.

Trust Your Lust

Flower – Liz Phair
Every time I see your face
I think of things unpure, unchaste
I want to fuck you like a dog
I’ll take you home and make you like it…

Paralyzer – Finger Eleven
But I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place, or my place
Well I’m not paralyzed
But I seem to be struck by you…

La La – Ashlee Simpson
You can dress me up in diamonds
You can dress me up in dirt…
I like it better when it hurts.

Possession – Sarah McLachlan
Into the sea of waking dreams
I follow without pride
‘Cause nothing stands between us here
And I won’t be denied…

I’m Your Man – Leonard Cohen
If you want a partner, take my hand or
If you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I’m your man…

The Walk – Imogen Heap
Big trouble, losing control
Primary resistance at a critical low…

Closer – Nine Inch Nails
I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside…
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

If – Janet Jackson
If I was your girl, oh the things I’d do to you
I’d make you call out my name
I’d ask who it belongs to…

Shameless – Ani Difranco
I gotta cover my butt
‘Cause I covet another man’s wife
I gotta divide my emotions up
Between wrong and right…
I gotta rub up against it
‘Til I break the skin…

Erotica – Madonna
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way…

Thinking of You – A Perfect Circle
Sleepless, unable to focus
On anything but your surrender…
Spent and sweating with a look on your face like
Sweet revelation…

Control – Puddle of Mudd
I love the way you look at me
I love the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
When I have control of you

This Is Love – PJ Harvey
I can’t believe life is so complex
When I just wanna sit here and watch you undress…

Make You Mine – Heather Nova
I want to complicate your feelings
I want to heat you up inside
Yeah, I’m gonna make you mine…

(You shook me) All Night Long – AC/DC
She told me to come
But I was already there…

Hammering In My Head – Garbage
Like an animal you’re moving over me…
This was so unexpected
I never thought I’d get caught
Play boomerang with your demons…

Nasty Naughty Boy – Christina Aguilera
Give me a little taste
Put your icing on my cake
You nasty boy…

Lust – Hawksley Workman (full version)
Trust your lust…